If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power is an album by Halsey, produced and partially co-written by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. It was released on August 27th, 2021 in a variety of formats and variants, and was also accompanied by a film of the same title.

An instrumental version of the album, evidently official due to bearing no traces of having been created using AI, was eventually leaked to the internet by an unknown source. The album is also available in Dolby Atmos.

Track Listing

"The Tradition" - 3:46
"Bells In Santa Fe" - 3:38
"Easier Than Lying" - 3:26
"Lilith" - 2:47
"Girl Is A Gun" - 2:27
"You Asked For This" - 4:26
"Darling" - 3:02
"1121" - 2:43
"Honey" - 2:54
"Whispers" - 3:12
"I Am Not A Woman, I'm A God" - 2:56
"The Lighthouse" - 4:33
"Ya'aburnee" - 3:08

The Walmart exclusive version contains the bonus track "Nightmare (Reprise)" and some copies of the Target exclusive version contains the bonus track "People Disappear Here". There also exist clean versions of the tracks "Bells In Santa Fe", "Lilith", "You Asked For This", "Honey", "Whispers", and "Nightmare (Reprise)".

In January 2022 an extended digital version was released, which adds "Nightmare", "Nightmare (Reprise)" and "People Disappear Here". A deluxe version was released in August 2022, which adds "Nightmare", "Nightmare - Rerun", "People Disappear Here", "1121 (demo)", "Honey (demo)", and "Lilith (demo)". A collector's edition was also released around this time, with the standard album, a hardcover book, and a Blu-ray of the IMAX film that accompanied the album's release.

About

“It happened by accident,” Halsey tells Apple Music of her fourth full-length. “I wasn't trying to make a political record, or a record that was drowning in its own profundity—I was just writing about how I feel. And I happen to be experiencing something that is very nuanced and very complicated.” Written while she was pregnant with her first child, If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power finds the pop superstar sifting through dark thoughts and deep fears, offering a picture of maternity that fully acknowledges its emotional and physical realities—what it might mean for one’s body, one’s sense of purpose and self. “The reason that the album has sort of this horror theme is because this experience, in a way, has its horrors,” she says. “I think everyone who has heard me yearn for motherhood for so long would have expected me to write an album that was full of gratitude. Instead, I was like, ‘No, this shit is so scary and so horrifying. My body's changing and I have no control over anything.’ Pregnancy for some women is a dream—and for some people it’s a fucking nightmare. That's the thing that nobody else talks about.”
To capture a sound that reflected the album’s natural sense of conflict, she reached out to Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross. “I wanted cinematic, really unsettling production,” she says. “They wanted to know if I was willing to take the risk—I was.” A clear departure from the psychedelic softness of 2020’s Manic, the album showcases their influence from the start: in the negative space and 10-ton piano notes of “The Tradition”, the smoggy atmospherics of “Bells in Santa Fe”, the howling guitars of “Easier Than Lying”, the feverish synths of “I am not a woman, I’m a god”. Lyrically, she says, it’s like an emptying of her emotional vault—“expressions of guilt or insecurity, stories of sexual promiscuity or self-destruction”—and a coming to terms with who she’s been before she becomes responsible for someone else; its fury is a response to an ancient dilemma, as she’s experienced it.
“I think being pregnant in the public eye is a really difficult thing, because as a performer, so much of your identity is predicated on being sexually desirable,” she says. “Socially, women have been reduced to two categories: You are the Madonna or the whore. So if you are sexually desirable or a sexual being, you're unfit for motherhood. But as soon as you are motherly or maternal and somebody does want you as the mother of their child, you're unfuckable. Those are your options; those things are not compatible, and they haven’t been for centuries.”
But there are feelings of resolution as well. Recorded in conjunction with the shooting of a companion film, If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power is an album that’s meant to document her transformation. And at its conclusion is “Ya’aburnee”—Arabic for “you bury me”—a sparse love song to both her baby and her partner in which she gives herself over completely. Just the sound of her voice and a muted guitar, it’s one of the most powerful songs she’s written to date. “I start this journey with ‘Okay, fine—if I can't have love, then I want power,’” she says. “If I can't have a relationship, I'm going to work. If I can't be loved interpersonally, I'm going to be loved by millions on the internet, or I'm going to crave attention elsewhere. I'm so steadfast with this mentality, and then comes this baby. The irony is that the most power I've ever had is in my agency, being able to choose. You realise, by the end of the record, I chose love.”

Source: Apple Music

Credits

Produced by Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
Engineered by Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Mat Mitchell
Tracks 3 and 5 mixed by Alan Moulder
Tracks 1, 2, 4, 6-13 mixed by Serban Ghenea

Halsey: vocals
Trent Reznor: piano on tracks 1, 2, 8, 10; programming on tracks 1-6, 8-13; sampler on tracks 1, 3, 4, 7, 13; synthesizer on tracks 1-5, 8-11; bass on tracks 3, 6, 9, 12, 13; guitar on tracks 3, 6, 9, 12; vocals on track 12
Atticus Ross: programming on tracks 1-6, 8-13
Dave Grohl: drums on track 9
Lindsey Buckingham: guitar on track 7
Kevin "The Bug" Martin: programming on track 2
Pino Palladino: bass on track 4
Karriem Riggins: drums on track 4
Dave Sitek: guitar on track 6
Jack Dangers of Meat Beat Manifesto: programming on track 5

All songs written by Ashley Frangipane, Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross, Johnathan Carter Cunningham; except tracks 1 and 6: written by Ashley Frangipane, Greg Kurstin, Trent Reznor, Atticus Ross

Mastered by Stephen Marcussen and Stewart Whitmore at Marcussen Mastering, Hollywood, CA

A&R: Jeremy Vuernick
A&R Coordinator: Aria McKnight
A&R Admin: Elizabeth Isik
Business Affairs: Martha Braithwaite and David Helfer
Marketing: Arjun Pulijal, Bridie Connellan and Micky Benthall
Production: Tony Bisogno
Management: Jason Aron and Anthony Li for Anti-Pop

Credits adapted from cmgcredits.com/halsey

If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power

Contents

Track Listing

About

Credits

External Links