ninwiki:Sandbox

restored again_

http://www.boototom.info/withboots

For All We Could Have Done

..And All That Could Have Been

So, Year Zero comes out, doesn't really do all that good, and Trent Reznor is forced to find another job. He starts working at Macy's in the men's jeans department, as a cashier. People are constantly coming up and bothering him about shoes though, as the shoe department is directly next to his department. One day a man approaches him and asks for a pair of Nike's size twelve. Trent looks at him with a hatred so pure in his eyes it could kill and screams. THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHOES, THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!!!

So after Trent gets fired from Macy's for harassing too many customers, he gets a job working as a prep boy at an oral surgeon's office. So one day he is in the office, laying out fresh tools for the dentist to use. The patient comes in and sits down in the chair, turns to Trent and asks,"So doctor, what can I expect from this operation? What will I feel like after it is over? Will there be any complications I should know about?" Trent looks at him for a moment, picks up the patient's medical history chart, looks at it, and responds," Well Mr. Jenkins, I'm actually not the doctor, but as far as I can tell you will be exactly the same as you were before except WITH-UH TEETH-UH.

The patient looks a little frightened at Trent's sudden loud outburst, and attempts to get up from his chair and leave. Trent grabs him and throws him back down, and tightly fastens the laughing gas mask over his face. Trent then puts an i.v. into Mr. Jenkins arm and begins to pump a powerful sedative into him. The last thing the patient hears before he falls into a deep and powerful sleep is the calm soothing voice of Trent saying..."NOW DOESN"T IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?"

So anyways, through a long series of unfortunate events, Trent ends up breaking his leg and is forced to stay at home for several months. Well, he's getting kinda bored, so he calls over some old buddies of his. Manson couldn't make it, kept screaming something about how beautiful people are, Aaron North was too busy trying to hatch a plan to steal guitars from the Hard Rock cafe (he calls it liberating them...), so the only clear choice was Charlie Clouser. Now Charlie had a little bit of an addiction to The Little House On The Prairie, and he had just bought the box set of d.v.d.s, so he talks Trent into watching it with him. Well, after about ten episodes, Clouser leaves to get some food and come back. When he gets back, he walks in the door and turns to go in the living room only to see the t.v. busted by a baseball bat, on fire and sitting in the middle of a pentagram. Charlie screams, "Trent, what the hell happened!!!" "Are you alright?" Trent, who had been staring off into space in a daze finally slowly turns his head towards Charlie, holds out the D.V.D. case and begans to chant I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN, I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN, I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN....

So Trent finally settles down and gets married. He's become tired of endless job searching and failed prospects of his life, so he decides to try something new. After a while, Mr. Reznor finds himself in the delivery room of the local hospital, holding his wife's hand as she begins childbirth. Well, Trent collapses to the ground and has to be carried out on a stretcher and placed in another room. After about two hours (You know how hospitals are...) the doctor comes in, tells him his wife made it through fine, and he is now the father of a healthy baby boy. The doctor then asks what happened in the room that made him pass out. Trent immediately turns pale and has to sit back down on the stretcher. He looks over at the doctor, his eyes bloodshot and hazy, and explains... SO MUCH BLOOD FOR SUCH A TINY LITTLE HOLE...

So Trent and his wife decide to get their little boy a puppy [named Piggy] for his first birthday. One day Trent was walking the dog and he had to pick up the dogs fecal matter. Then absent-minded kid accidentally hits Trent with his bike. Trent drops the bag and the crap falls out. Trent grabs the kid, holds him up in the air and yells... I LOST MY SHIT BECAUSE OF YOU...

So Trent hasn't gone to the doctor's office for a physical in 10 years. So he finally goes in and his doctor tells him he has penile cancer and its in too advanced of a stage and he needs to get it amputated. About a year later he starts getting busy with a groupie. When she tries to undo his pants Trent stops her and says... um.. THAT PART OF ME ISN'T HERE ANYMORE...

Terrible Fries

           Hey Bob!!!
         Why are you selling these to me?
         Am I not buying as much as I'm supposed to be?
         Hey Bob!!!
         Why is my food so unbelievably greasy?
         And why is my food triple what the cost should be?
             Terrible Fries!!!!
             Terrible Fries!!!!
           Hey Bob!!!
         Why are my chicken nuggets green?
         And why are none of the seats in this store clean?
           Hey Bob!!!
         I feel my hunger growing all the more extreme!
         Can the food here really be as bad as it seems!!!?
             Terrible Fries!!!
             Terrible fries!!!
             Terrible Fries!!!
             Terrible fries!!!
         Don't take the ketchup away, I need condiments too...
         Please don't take the ketchup away, I need something to flavor this food.
         Don't take it away from me... I need condiments too.
         Don't take it, please don't take it, I need to flavor MY FOOD...
           Hey Bob!!!
         There's nothing left for me to try!!
         I've eaten your hamburger's, chicken sandwiches and fries.
         And all the while you've been giving me an evil eye,
         Last night I threw up your crappy food, crappy food and fries!!
             Terrible fries!!!
             Terrible Fries!!!
         I WAS JUST SITTING THERE TODAY,
         YOU WALKED BY AND THREW MY FOOD AWAY!!!
         GET ME A MANAGER SO I CAN COMPLAIN,
         YOU'RE DRIVING ME INSANE!!
           HEY BOB!!!
         THIS FOOD IS GOING TO GIVE MY THROAT GANGRENE,
         MY DRINK WAS FILLED WITH LISTERENE,
         THEN I FIND OUT YOU ARE NOT EVEN AN EMPLOYEE!!!
         YOU'D BETTER PRAY TO YOUR GOD FOR MERCY!!!
         Ohh....
             Terrible Fries!!!
             Terrible Fries!!!
         No na na no na na na no na na NA NA NA!!
         I'm going to destroy you now...
         For feeding me a mad cow,,,
         I'm going to kill you now...
         FOR FEEDING ME A MAD COW!!!!
             TERRIBLE FRIES!!!!!

Only

         Well I just stand to the side as customers go by
         I just stay out of the way and hey that's okay
         Because I only sell denim.
         Kinda selfish for my department to offer so little choice in what people can purchase
         Sometimes can see the other register...
         Sometimes I can see the other registers...
         Sometimes I can see the other place...
         Well I'm not concerned
         About departments one and two.
         Children's and shoes that is.
         Because we we don't offer those any more...
         No we don't sell those here anymore.
         We shall only sell Denim here forevermore.
         (Although some times I wander what it feels like to be over there.)
         Just the other day
         I was asked by a man, even though I don't know who he was
         If we had the new Air Jordan's, he'd heard they were all the buzz.
         I just stared at him and gave him a grin.
         Sir there is something you must know...I said to him:
         Those shoes, they are not here, not on this shelf,
         No, no those shoes are not here, not on this shelf, 
         And those shoes are not here, they're on that shelf,
         Yeah, and those shoes are not here, get over yourself
         And I said
         I said to him,
             THERE ARE NO SHOES THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!
             THERE ARE NO SHOES THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!
             THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHOES... ONLY JEANS!!!
             THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHOES, THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!
         (Although we had a few pairs in the back that needed to be taken across the great divide)
         Well I was walking down the hall when something strange caught my eye
         And it turned out to be a lace
         And I had this strange urge, even though I knew it was bad...
         But I just couldn't leave it alone, and I finally had to sell it,
         Even though it wasn't jeans...
         And now I am in the bosses office, awaiting my fate
         For breaking inter-departmental regulation number eight.
         (VIII: Thou shalt not protrude into the business or sales of other departments..)
         And now I know why, Yeah now I Know Why.
         The shoes and jeans are separated... by the clothesline!!!!
             THERE ARE NO SHOES THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!
             THERE ARE NO SHOES THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!! 
             THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHOES...ONLY JEANS!!!
             THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHOES, THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!!
         Only... Only... Only... Only... Denim's so lonely, But I must press on, because my life is                                       
         full of Jeans...

Capital T

Capital T, by Velvolver (It's all in good fun nobody get butthurt about it)

         You useta just push the signiturea buttona, I useta push it just to sign my posts.
         Then tony went and upadated da wiki, that little buttona didn't last to long.
         I'm sick of hearin' 'bout the login's and the log-off's
         Have some personal identifiability
         The biggest problem with the way that he's been doing this is 
         The more you edit here, the less that there'll be for us to see
             Chorus: Well it used to be real easy. Now it's hard as it could be. 
             Since he upgraded the wiki, and he signs his name with a capital T.
         Don't give a S--- that you have to type four tildes,                                                              
         its almost as easy as the button use to be. But half the people leave their signatures off,  
         Well thats a problem I didn't quite forsee. 
         Maybe it's twice as hard now to leave links, but I don't really care... 
         Maybe it puts off new users, but it's not like they had much to share.
             Well it used to be real easy. Now it's hard as it could be. 
             Since he upgraded the wiki, and he signs his name with a capital T. 
             You may get lost in the wiki, when you don't know the commands. 
             But you can take it easy... 
             Someone else will come up with a plan...
               

Dedicated to Tony, Nin-Wiki Administrator.