I Do Not Want This

Album:The Downward Spiral

Length:5:41

Tempo:118 BPM

Versions:I Do Not Want This
I Do Not Want This (Instrumental)

Live:Further Down The Spiral Tour
Wave Goodbye Tour
Europe + Asia 2018 through Cold And Black And Infinite Tour

"I Do Not Want This" is the eighth track on the 1994 release The Downward Spiral. The song features Stephen Perkins of Jane's Addiction on drums.

Song Credits

• Production: Trent Reznor
• Mixing Engineer: Alan Moulder
• Drum Performance: Stephen Perkins
• Drum Treatments: Flood and Trent Reznor

Appearances

Halos

• The Downward Spiral

Versions

I Do Not Want This

This is the original album version. Crossfading in from the ending of "The Becoming," its manipulated introductory drum loops give way to an immediate and louder first verse, characterized by the same drum loops, unmanipulated, and piano, which drops out for Reznor's vocal layering and returns for the pre-chorus. The chorus, in contrast, is much louder, lead by a fast guitar progression and yelled, distorted vocals. The bridge adds layers of synthesizers, guitar and noise loops onto the base drum loop before building into the loud, final coda.

In the April 1994 issue of Guitar World,[1] Reznor was asked about the drumming on this song:

GW: You created many of your drum loops by recording Porno for Pyros drummer Steve Perkins live in the studio. Is that one way you've retained some humanity?

REZNOR: Yeah. He just played a bunch of beats. We recorded them and made some loops of his playing. It's a great way to work.

I Do Not Want This (Instrumental)

Running Time: 6:01

Released by Reznor via his remix.nin.com account, this instrumental version does not fade in the opening manipulated drum loops.

Live

Relegated initially to rare encore status on the Self Destruct Tour, the song returned to setlists in 2009 on the Wave Goodbye Tour, where it was performed sans all the spoken-word vocal samples of Reznor in the verses and with a different rhythm for both guitar and vocals in the loud chorus.

Lyrics

    I'm losing ground
    You know how this world can beat you down
    I'm made of clay
    I fear I'm the only one who thinks this way
    I'm always falling down the same hill
    Bamboo puncturing this skin
    And nothing comes bleeding out of me just like a waterfall I'm drowning in
    2 feet below the surface I can still make out your wavy face
    And if I could just reach you maybe I could leave this place
    I do not want this
    I do not want this
    I do not want this
    I do not want this
    Don't you tell me how I feel
    Don't you tell me how I feel
    Don't you tell me how I feel
    You don't know just how I feel
    
    I stay inside my bed
    I have lived so many lives all in my head
    Don't tell me that you care
    There really isn't anything, is there?
    You would know, wouldn’t you?
    You extend your hand to those who suffer
    To those who know what it really feels like
    To those who've had a taste
    Like that means something
    And oh so sick I am
    And maybe I don't have a choice
    And maybe that is all I have
    And maybe this is a cry for help
    I do not want this
    I do not want this
    I do not want this
    I do not want this
    Don't you tell me how I feel
    Don't you tell me how I feel
    Don't you tell me how I feel
    You don't know just how I feel
    
    I want to know everything
    I want to be everywhere
    I want to fuck everyone in the world
    I want to do something that matters

A small addition was made to the fourth line in the second verse:

   There really isn't anything, now is there?

External Links

• Guitar World 4/94 interview transcript
• "I Do Not Want This" (Instrumental) at archive.org

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