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For All We Could Have Done

..And All That Could Have Been

So, Year Zero comes out, doesn't really do all that good, and Trent Reznor is forced to find another job. He starts working at Macy's in the men's jeans department, as a cashier. People are constantly coming up and bothering him about shoes though, as the shoe department is directly next to his department. One day a man approaches him and asks for a pair of Nike's size twelve. Trent looks at him with a hatred so pure in his eyes it could kill and screams. THERE ARE NO FUCKING SHOES, THERE ARE ONLY JEANS!!!!!

So after Trent gets fired from Macy's for harassing too many customers, he gets a job working as a prep boy at an oral surgeon's office. So one day he is in the office, laying out fresh tools for the dentist to use. The patient comes in and sits down in the chair, turns to Trent and asks,"So doctor, what can I expect from this operation? What will I feel like after it is over? Will there be any complications I should know about?" Trent looks at him for a moment, picks up the patient's medical history chart, looks at it, and responds," Well Mr. Jenkins, I'm actually not the doctor, but as far as I can tell you will be exactly the same as you were before except WITH-UH TEETH-UH.

The patient looks a little frightened at Trent's sudden loud outburst, and attempts to get up from his chair and leave. Trent grabs him and throws him back down, and tightly fastens the laughing gas mask over his face. Trent then puts an i.v. into Mr. Jenkins arm and begins to pump a powerful sedative into him. The last thing the patient hears before he falls into a deep and powerful sleep is the calm soothing voice of Trent saying..."NOW DOESN"T IT MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER?"

So anyways, through a long series of unfortunate events, Trent ends up breaking his leg and is forced to stay at home for several months. Well, he's getting kinda bored, so he calls over some old buddies of his. Manson couldn't make it, kept screaming something about how beautiful people are, Aaron North was too busy trying to hatch a plan to steal guitars from the Hard Rock cafe (he calls it liberating them...), so the only clear choice was Charlie Clouser. Now Charlie had a little bit of an addiction to The Little House On The Prairie, and he had just bought the box set of d.v.d.s, so he talks Trent into watching it with him. Well, after about ten episodes, Clouser leaves to get some food and come back. When he gets back, he walks in the door and turns to go in the living room only to see the t.v. busted by a baseball bat, on fire and sitting in the middle of a pentagram. Charlie screams, "Trent, what the hell happened!!!" "Are you alright?" Trent, who had been staring off into space in a daze finally slowly turns his head towards Charlie, holds out the D.V.D. case and begans to chant I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN, I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN, I CANNOT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN....

So Trent finally settles down and gets married. He's become tired of endless job searching and failed prospects of his life, so he decides to try something new. After a while, Mr. Reznor finds himself in the delivery room of the local hospital, holding his wife's hand as she begins childbirth. Well, Trent collapses to the ground and has to be carried out on a stretcher and placed in another room. After about two hours (You know how hospitals are...) the doctor comes in, tells him his wife made it through fine, and he is now the father of a healthy baby boy. The doctor then asks what happened in the room that made him pass out. Trent immediately turns pale and has to sit back down on the stretcher. He looks over at the doctor, his eyes bloodshot and hazy, and explains... SO MUCH BLOOD FOR SUCH A TINY LITTLE HOLE...

So Trent and his wife decide to get their little boy a puppy [named Piggy] for his first birthday. One day Trent was walking the dog and he had to pick up the dogs fecal matter. Then absent-minded kid accidentally hits Trent with his bike. Trent drops the bag and the crap falls out. Trent grabs the kid, holds him up in the air and yells... I LOST MY SHIT BECAUSE OF YOU...