Kinda I Want To (Demo - Purest Feeling)
Kinda I Want To (Demo - Demos and Remixes)
"Kinda I Want To" is the sixth track on the 1989 release Pretty Hate Machine, and has ties to lust, though it's unclear exactly what the speaker wants to do or whom they want to do it with. Notably hard to write, Trent Reznor has expressed dissatisfaction with the song[1] and thinks it's by far the worst song he's ever done. He has also stated it's the one song he will not play live anymore, though as with anything, this is subject to change.
The song references "Down In It" by quoting its beat and drum patch during the bridge.
Contents
Song Credits
- Production: Trent Reznor, John Fryer
- Engineering: John Fryer, Keith LeBlanc, Kennan Keating, Ken Quartarone
- Mix: John Fryer, Trent Reznor, Keith LeBlanc
Appearances
Halos
- Pretty Hate Machine
Other
- Purest Feeling (Demo)
- Demos and Remixes (Demo)
Versions
Kinda I Want To
Beginning with what sounds like garbled cries, the sixth track on Pretty Hate Machine is perhaps the most solely beat driven song on the album, lacking a clear melody and utilizing a lot of samples and loops (similar to Year Zero). The middle section samples the drum beat, similar guitar work and some vocals from "Down In It". The rolling drum fills on the choruses are sampled from "Good Old Music" by Funkadelic. The distorted cries at the end segue directly into "Sin".
Kinda I Want To (Demo - Purest Feeling)
With a completely different arrangement and lead melody, less distorted audio samples and a much more upbeat feel, the Purest Feeling version of "Kinda I Want To" resembles early 80's house music more than its "breakbeat"-esque counterpart from Pretty Hate Machine. The lyrics are the same as the final version, but feature an additional bridge in the middle wherein Reznor repeats the line "Why does it have to be this way?" over and over, harmonizing with himself. The ending also features a rapidly strumming acoustic guitar, before the entire song fades into quiet synths. The ascending synth melody that runs through the final third of the track is very similar to the one heard during the bridge of "Into The Void".
Kinda I Want To (Demo - Demos and Remixes)
This version is almost exactly like the Purest Feeling version in structure and sound, though it uses much simpler synths and percussion, no sampling and very little background. This is perhaps one of Reznor's earliest demos as Nine Inch Nails.
Live
The song was only played live on the "Pretty Hate Machine" Promotional Tour and, according to Reznor, is unlikely to be played again.
Lyrics
I can't shake this feeling from my head
There's a devil sleeping in my bed
He's watching you from across the way
I cannot make this feeling go away
I know it's not the right thing
And I know it's not the good thing
But kinda I want to
I'm not sure of what I should do
When everything I'm thinking of is you
All of my excuses turn to lies
Maybe God will cover up His eyes
I know it's not the right thing
And I know it's not the good thing
But kinda I want to
Kinda I want to
Maybe just for tonight
We can pretend it's all right
What's the price I pay?
I don't care what they say
I want to
I want to (I'll take my chance tonight)
The parenthetical portion of the last line appears only in the liner notes and the Purest Feeling version.
The first line in the second verse is changed in the final recording to be
When every thought I'm thinking of is you
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